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Runtime 20 minutes.
If you will consider your background, skills, experience and talents, you probably have many areas where you can pass along your skills in order to benefit others and master a new skill of teaching for yourself at the same time.
Katie and Carol talk about Tip 43 from their book Skirt Strategies: 249 Success Tips for Women in Leadership.
Tip No. 43. Pass your skills on to others. Teach a class.
Even more important than speaking in front of an audience, teaching hones your expertise on a subject. It also symbolizes your priority to give back to others.
In addition to the public speaking we discussed earlier in the tips, there are 4 great tips for the act of teaching and looking COMPOSED. Read more about these 4 simple reminders.
PODCAST TRANSCRIPTION
Hello and welcome to the Skirt Strategies podcast, the podcast to help you get the support, validation and skills you need to accomplish your goals and really succeed in a male dominated world – all without having to give up your incredible female strengths.
Katie: I’m going to start this podcast, Carol – with a question to you.
Carol: Oh, man! Pressure!
Katie: I love the open-mindedness of that. Thank you.
What would you say was a skill or ability or asset that you have or want to pass on to others?
Carol: Well, I kind of chose to pass on my leadership skills. Having been a manager of people since I was 21, I think I’ve learned a few things and I’m fairly good at it and I want women not to make the mistakes I made. So that’s what I choose to do.
Katie: Have you passed that onto your daughters – all the daughters that you have?
Carol: Oh, not as much as I would want to. Yeah, I know I have not.
Katie: How would you (since I’m in the middle of an interrogation with you) pass on those skills? What would be the mechanism?
Carol: Well, interesting. Because I do have daughters and because they are just past their teenagers, they’re just to a point now where they won’t listen to me at all.
Katie: Barely.
Carol: So I feel like now, I can do that. Of course, I gave them the book – Skirt Strategies. And I said, “Read this.” And of course, they have not.
Katie: You should require that they give you a report on it. Hold them accountable, Carol.
Carol: Yes. Well, you know the other thing I want to do with you – is interestingly, Katie and I, three of our daughters are all the same age and they are in the same sorority.
Katie: At the same school.
Carol: I want to go down and do a Skirt Strategies session with the sorority because my kids have never seen me in this position and I think that would be a lot of fun. So I’m pushing one of my daughters to think she’s an education director or something.
Katie: So this podcast is dealing with – taking whatever it is that you’re good at – in work or private life and translating it to others through the act of teaching or training or brownbag learn in lunch. Mastering a new skill for yourself while you teach others skills they can use.
And so in Skirt Strategies, it’s Tip Number 43 – which reads as follows:
- Pass on your skills to others
- Teach a class
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: What opportunities do you have – to teach a class?
Carol: Oh my, gosh! You make the opportunities to teach a class.
Katie: You do.
Carol: And I have tons of fun with this. As a matter of fact, my husband who is our technical director for this podcast, he and I are going to be teaching a class on New Media this upcoming semester at the Anderson School of Management at UNM.
Katie: New Media. Wow!
Carol: There’s always opportunities. So I mean, we know a lot about podcasting now, right?
Katie: I’d say, I know how to sit down and do the sound check – because you are in charge of it.
Carol: And he actually…
Katie: He’s our CTO.
Carol: Yes. He takes all of our stuff and puts it online and etcetera. So I’m looking forward to it – because I’m going to learn a lot of the stuff that he does behind the scenes, that he won’t tell us what he does.
Katie: And how much more capable is everyone getting. It’s going to be so easy to do to take a picture now on your phone, take a video, post it to Facebook.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: I mean, you’re doing things that… I like being so technically savvy because I was the only one.
Carol: Yeah. And now you’re not.
Katie: I don’t stand out from it anymore. In fact, I’m starting to fall behind the curve. But on other things – where I can teach a class, (and I do, do a lot of teaching) it is a type of lifelong learning in action.
Carol: Right.
Katie: We talk to the last podcast – (in this year, it’s the last podcast) it was about being a lifelong learner. And to me, this is part of the execution of that.
Carol: Katie is a lifelong teacher.
Katie: I’m a lifelong teller.
Carol: Well, you know what I love about your teaching? Is that you always try to make it accessible to people, through the use of model or something that’s going to kind of glue them to whatever the teaching is. “Here’s the model. Here’s how you look at it. Here’s how you take it forward in your life.”
Katie: This is what teaching has done for me. This is powerful. It’s huge. And it is very, very closely tied to developing your lifelong learning mentality.
When you’re teaching, it is public speaking. When you’re teaching, you have to be able to compose what you’re saying, in a way that others understand it. That forces you to define it.
So occasionally, the Management School over at the University will say, “Can you pick up this class for someone or can you go teach this.” And I’ll say, “Well, what’s it about?” And if I have anything that’s kind of like a halfway aptitude for it and can put the capacity to it, I will say yes. (There’s my forcing function.) I’ll say yes.
Carol: Yeah, I guess.
Katie: And then, I have to figure out what does that look like when I’m telling someone.
But this is a skill that everyone can use in describing clearly to others – its communication skill. How do you describe anything clearly?
Carol: In all kinds of functions in your life. If you can do that, if you can teach. As a leader, you have to teach people how to do things and right from wrong and all sorts of other things.
So you’re right. If you can get this down and pass on your skills to others, then you’re going to be a better leader.
So fun. I think it’s really fun. You know, you and I have done workshops, we’ve done all sorts of things and I have not been attracted to those kinds of things from the teaching side – as much as I have from the learning side until recently.
And now, I’m very attracted to them through the teaching side. And part of it is imparting my skills to others, but the other part is just trying to get down to what it is that will help people learn.
And I think this podcast is part of that. You know, teaching, all of these tips to folks on a weekly basis really helps. It helps me keep it in my mind and I’m hoping it helps other people.
Katie: You know, the word expertise is overrated. People hear the word expert and it scares them.
I would bet any of you listening – you have an expertise in a certain area because you live it, you do it, you have your own way of making it happen. Whether it’s fund raising skill or whether it’s how to connect with people or whether it’s just some system that you have at your desk that works for you, there’s a really high chance that other people could learn from that.
And then, I’m going to say kind of a counterintuitive statement about expertise. Don’t worry about calling yourself an expert if you’re just really halfway good at something. When you’re teaching, you don’t have to have all the answers.
Carol: Really?
Katie: I’m not kidding. Unless it’s a monologue and you have to be rattling off stuff – or it’s something very technical or you’ve got research and something that nobody else could ever possibly have.
Most of us – the areas of expertise where we would train others or we would teach a class, you’re not going to teach a class that’s a monologue. You’re going to teach a class that’s participative in Q&A and you want people to say, “Well, tell me more about that.”
They don’t look for you to have the answer. That’s a real trick in teaching – is let go of feeling like you have to have the answer.
And I learned this early from my colleagues at the Cumberland Group. They use that Socratic method of – if someone asks you a question and you’re at the front of the class and they say, “Well, what about this?” Turning it around and saying, “Does anybody have a great answer for that?”
Carol: Nice. Yeah. That takes so much pressure off.
Katie: It also gives you the change to think about your answer – because you probably do have an answer.
And then, you’re somewhat seated by what other people say. Because two or three people in the audience will say, “Well, here’s what I would do. What about this? I have found this.” And now you’d think, “Yeah, I’d back that up.”
Now, you’ve just had somebody pretty much put it into words for you – without you having to stand up there and be the expert in answering it.
And in fact, that’s a great way of pulling the group back in – when you teach a class. Not only does it take you off the hook, but it keeps them more in trance because maybe you’re likable and maybe you’re going to teach them, but they don’t want to hear everything from you. They kind of want to hear what their colleagues have to say. They’re sitting in the same position.
Carol: Oh, I think that just makes it all possible – honestly. Because I do think people get a little bit fearful of being in front of a class and teaching something because they might not know everything.
Just understand that there are people out there that want to know what you know and do things the way you do them – because you’re very skilled and I think it’s fun.
The other way we teach – is by public speaking. And tell us a little bit about that.
Katie: Public speaking… How did that come into my life? Well, for those of you that do public speaking – you either love it or hate it.
I happen to love it when I’m ready. And I might even add the caveat of when I’m not intimidated by the audience.
Carol: Interesting.
Katie: I mean, there are some audiences that you think might be sitting there looking at you…
Carol: Judging you?
Katie: Yeah. And there’s not many that I would assume that. Because generally, when I’m in an audience – I listen to people talk and I’m compassionate and I’m empathetic about, “Oh, okay. She didn’t say that quite right. Okay. Well, I knew what she meant.”
I’ll listen to it that way – versus sitting there and thinking, “Oh my God! There’s no way this person was chosen as a speaker.” Unless they really are bad.
Carol: Right.
Katie: But for most people – if they want to be trying and they’re up there and they’re trying to be articulate and they’re halfway composed, I’ll be like, “That’s good. It’s hard to stand up there and deliver a message. I think you’re doing a fine job.”
So if I keep that in mind, to me – the public speaking is a little bit less frightening. I also – through the experience of what I have done, everybody gets around a little style. And for me, the style was remembering a few things. It’s like when you get any skill that you’re trying to master, you glob onto a few things, you can only learn so many things at once.
So with public speaking, I have learned that I’ve got to keep my head clear. I’ve got to have in front of me – know what I’m talking about. And then, the way that I’m appearing to others – I give people four tips.
Carol: Oh, yeah. We love tips here.
Katie: And when they have the numbers. Four tips – 1, 2, 3 and 4.
The first one is – to stand still. If you are in a podium, that’s not going to be a problem. Although, if you’re at a podium and you can walk around a little bit, if you’re on a wireless mic or you’re just talking – or maybe it’s a small classroom. If you can walk a little bit amongst the tables, but not too much – remember, occasionally you need to just stand still.
If you’ve ever watched someone speak where…
Carol: They’re pacing?
Katie: It’s a pacing. It looks like a caged animal.
Carol: Yeah. Well, the other important part about that is – if you are at a podium and you’re standing, don’t do the white knuckle – which is you’re holding them and you’re white knuckling it. Look composed and look comfortable.
Katie: A lot of times, people will feel more comfortable behind the podium because they’re hiding themselves a little bit. You don’t have to worry about – whether you skirt is caught up in your hose, it’s probably not being seen because you’re standing behind the podium.
Carol: And I would say, “The more you are in workshop situations, the more you’re in front of folks in that way, the easier it is to then become a public speaker.”
Katie: Yes.
Carol: So get yourself those gigs that are teaching a class, that are in front of a smaller class.
Katie: Right.
Carol: Because once you do go to this public speaking portion, you’re a little more comfortable with it.
Katie: Great tip.
Carol: So keep going. So that was one – stand still.
Katie: Secondly, watch your gestures. For me, I have two gestures. Two is random. You don’t want to do the same thing. You know, the thumb on the fist look that Clinton did. He does that.
Carol: Interesting.
Katie: And he was kind of the one that coined that, so to speak. And that keeps you from pointing. And that’s okay, that’s a gesture. But maybe have another one too or maybe the hands open or whatever.
But don’t flap your arms so much that it looks like all you’re doing this distracting and you’re about to fly away. Where you’re going to put your hands – do you have something in your hand that you can hold?
Just pay attention to your gestures and have one or two of them that are comfortable for you – without it being too many.
Carol: It’s kind of like acting. So don’t use your hands to speak for you and realize that leaving your hands at your side – it looks comfortable actually.
Katie: Stiff?
Carol: It doesn’t look stiff – it looks fine if your hands are there.
And then if you have those two gestures… And actually, in Toast Masters, they say you can have some big gestures just to get the crowd in with you.
Katie: Yes.
Carol: But I think you’re right. As far as just in the normal speaking, you don’t want to have so many gestures and you definitely don’t want to have nervous gestures.
Katie: Right. Maybe that’s the point. More than deciding what gestures you’re going to have – is not to have nervous gestures.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: So if you have some that are comfortable for you, they’ll take over the nervous ones.
Carol: Good.
Katie: Kind of analogous to gestures – is your tone and speed.
Have something big or loud. Every once in a while, have something slow and methodic. Every once in a while, take a moment and leave a pause. And if you want to get their attention or you’re building something up – you might speak more slowly or more quietly.
Because in the end, you’re going to make it happen. You’re going to be great!
Carol: Right. And people have to cock their ear to hear what you’re saying and it does make them become an active listener.
Katie: It also gets you away from like – fidgety gestures. It also gets you away from a negative or an ineffective tone – if you’re the type of person that tends to speak monotone and at the same tempo.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: It makes it more interesting to the ear to regulate up and down. Use some tone, use some emphasis, use some quieter. Kind of like a piece of music.
Carol: Interesting. So that was number four.
Katie: That was number three, Carol.
Carol: And that was number four – because short sentence is number 3.
Katie: Well, then I wrote them down in the wrong way. There’s a tip in there somewhere too. Short sentences…
Carol: Talk to us about that.
Katie: Be careful about raddling on. Every once in a while, have a short sentence.
Carol: Okay.
Katie: That’s the way it goes, period.
Carol: End of story.
Katie: People will remember summarizing sentences like that. They work well for summarizing. There’s no reason not to speak publically.
Carol: Right.
Katie: There you go – short sentence, maybe left a little pause. You’ll remember that.
Carol: Once in an interview – we were interviewing a gentleman for something and he said, “Honestly, blah, blah, blah.”
Katie: “Honestly.”
Carol: And I’ve got to tell you. At the end, he was gone and we were all talking about the candidate. And then somebody says, “You know what? He’s so honest.” I thought, “Oh my God! He sold it!”
Katie: Oh, and they really spot that.
Carol: They really did. Yeah, they weren’t being facetious. I would’ve said that facetiously at that point, but I thought, “Well, I like the guy. I’m not going to hurt his chances here.”
Katie: Right. And I wonder is saying honestly so much – would make you think that there was something else hidden.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: I heard a salesman once say – (and this is a group of people that I was training in sales.) And he said, “Well, sometimes I’ll just tell the client that I’m working with or the prospect…” I’ll just say, “It’s okay. Trust me.” And I said, “I don’t think you can say that. I think that backfires. Just trust me.” Sounds like you’re trying to talk them into something.
Carol: Sounds a little sleazy.
Katie: Yeah.
Carol: But if it worked for him and people trusted him – then good.
Katie: Well, he’s a good salesman and he was probably trustworthy at some level.
Carol: Alright. So those are four easy tips to public speaking. And there will be a link on our website.
Katie: Yeah. There’s a blog that covers those.
- Stand still
- Use two gestures that you’re comfortable with
- Use short sentences
- Vary and manage your tone and speed (Tone and speed so you’re not fast)
Carol: But the other part of this podcast is really about passing your skills onto others and teaching a class. Very important and you can do it. We want to hear about it. Please let us know when you’re teaching your next class.
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That’s it for this episode of Skirt Strategies podcast. Thank you for joining us and don’t forget to leave a comment at skirtstrategiespodcast.com. Remember that success comes when you lead using your natural female strengths.
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