Self-doubt

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Self-Doubt

Tackling Fears

Belief Systems
Building Self-Esteem
Cognitive Restructuring
Confidence Quotes

Self-Doubt

Emily stood at the podium, ready to speak. Instead of seeing 500 warm, welcoming eyes, she saw blank stares gazing back at her. Quickly the self-talk went to a self-defeating monologue about not being capable, being hated by the audience, and not being qualified about what she was there for. Argh.

I know I have been there. Have you?

To get over it, I have successfully used anchoring to get through it. But I must admit that I occasionally regress and feel like I am in high school again. What's with that?

Self-Doubt is Normal

Perhaps the most reassuring message to send yourself in situations like Emily's is that some self-doubt is normal. In fact, it can be good. It creates a tension. Tension is the opposite of being completely relaxed. Although "completely relaxed" may be great, a lack of pressure may mean lack of creativity.

Creative tension stimulates thinking and promotes a leader to be on her toes. Take the pressure, and treat it as just a little tension.

Be Objective

Give yourself a reality check. If someone were standing near you, looking at the situation from the outside, what would she say? Are you blowing this all out of proportion?

Is there evidence you should be doubting yourself? Is there a past experience that you are pulling into the scene as a comparison to this one? Perhaps something did not pan out in the past and now your fear is that it will happen again?

What is the worst thing that could happen? This question always makes me feel better for two reasons. First, the worst thing is probably very unlikely to happen. Second, even if something not-so-ideal happened, it would not be the end of the world. I could walk away and so "oh well. That was a disaster." My sense of humor would get me through it.

Finding Courage

Here's a simple technique for you. When in the crux of a situation, and the fear begins to overtake you, put the word COURAGE in your mind. Just say it to yourself. Visualize the word and what it means. Repeat it.

I realize this sounds oversimplified, but mental activities like this will work to realign you, if only slightly, and that may be all that it takes. Internal messages to yourself, called self-talk, are listened to on some level much like hearing them from an outsider. Automatically, the body reacts.

Rather than avoiding the fear and burying it, visualize yourself facing it head-on. Take it. See what happens.

And the day came
when the risk to remain tight in a bud
became more painful
than the risk it took to blossom.

~ Anais Nin

Confidence Quotes